A while back I wrote a post about the mountains I was going to try to climb next (link here if anyone wants to give it a read). Not mountains as in Kilimanjaro and Mount Everest (even if that would be cool too), but mountains as in challenges to take on regarding a few issues of mine. It has gone about three months since I published that post and I thought it was time for a follow-up to see how far up I have come. So here it is: an update on the mountains.
Stop doubting myself
Short summary: I have not been able to stand for what I am good at and stop questioning whether or not I am good enough to be considered good.
During the month of January I started looking for a job. When sending in applications and going on interviews I was obviously forced to present my best qualities with confidence so that I would make a good impression and become a valid candidate. At first this made me nervous, but when I actually did it it was extremely empowering. Just hearing myself say “I am good at [insert talent here]” made me believe in myself. Then, when I got positive feedback, I became confident in a new way. Like, “yeah, I would be impressed too”; like it was natural to know that I was good at [insert talent here]. I am seeing the top of this mountain.
Stop being afraid of other’s thoughts
Short summary: I have been afraid of other people thinking that I think I am something special which has made me restrict myself when it comes to trying new things and believing I know/can do something.
When it comes to what I can and cannot do as well as what I think I know I have come far. I experiment a lot more with my looks and feel like my best self when I try something new that, at many times, stands out. Other than that I feel more confident in the classroom and will not bring myself down if I happen to answer something incorrectly or ask a seemingly stupid question. I do still think about what others think of me though, the difference now is that I am aware enough of the meaninglessness of those thoughts to remind myself that they do not matter.
Stop letting others determine my value
Short summary: I have been too insecure to trust my own reflection of me and have therefore let others determine my worth.
Whilst working on the mountains above this has kind of slipped my mind. I have grown a lot and become much more secure in myself, therefore I cannot imagine this being as big of an issue as it has been before. But, on the other hand, I have not had experiences recently that are alike the ones where this mountain has peaked and therefore I cannot consider it climbed. It will be interesting to see if I can avoid falling all the way down to the bottom when I once again find myself in a situation where this has been a problem before. I want to believe that I will not, but I will have to wait and see to be sure.
Stop starting and start continuing
Short summary: I am a little too good at starting new projects only to not give them another glance a month later.
As I wrote in the original post my first actual success with this is Originally My. I am still not quite there (the absence of posts since Tuesday being proof of that) but at least I have gotten back to doing what I do here every time I have stopped. Regarding this mountain I do not feel like I have found the actual problem yet. I still do not know why I have this habit which makes hard to get rid of. I have a long way to go, but at least I know where I am going.
Stay original, gorgeous! xoxo